Tiffany Haddish has always been open about her struggles while growing up. The now 40-year old recently did an interview with Hollywood Unlocked where she discussed rebuilding her relationship with her mother.
If you do not know, Tiffany has talked about a severe accident left her mother with a life-altering brain injury which changed her life entirely. As a child, Tiffany faced a life in foster care and encounters of abuse from a mother she no longer knew.
Tiffany and her mother recently attended an event where Tiffany honored and thanked her mother. When asked, how did she get to that point of forgiveness, she responded….
“It’s a long road and I’m still everyday working on it. I had to put myself in her shoes. What tools did she have to be the best? Not a lot. When she had the car accident, everything was taken away from her. She had to rebuild.”
The best way to think of the mother wound is a loss or a lack of mothering. This is typically a deficit in the mother-daughter or mother-son relationships that is passed down through generations. Children who are raised by alcoholics, drug-addicted mothers, or mothers who have mental health conditions, either undiagnosed or untreated, may struggle into their own adulthood.
Related Podcast: "How Mothers Shape Your Future Self"
Here are some signs:
- Seeking relationships with partners who have same qualities as your mother or father
- Discomfort displaying emotions
- Distrust, anger, or range towards women or men
- Co-dependency
How to address:
In Tiffany’s interview, she discuss how she went about healing her mother wound.
“Also you have to look at it like, what if the tables were turned? What if I’m her? What if I have children or adopt? What if something happens to me and I end up not being the best that I can be? Do I want them to **** on me for the rest of my life?....I feel that you should do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.”
Tiffany decided to release her anger and break the cycle of pain which are recommendations for addressing the issue.
Here are some additional tips:
- Release your shame, guilt, and anger
- Commit to getting help and breaking the cycle of pain and escape
- Accept that your behavior has been hurting yourself and possibly your family
- Be willing to explore the wound and learn how it has impacted your life
Tiffany ended the interview with saying….
“Even though she was not the nicest and not the best at times, I feel like “kill them with the kindest”. I’ve seen it change her. Knowing that she could not do all the things she wanted. The frustration. The guilt that she has.”
Working through forgiveness and being able to let go of past negativity in the healing of the mother wound is essential for developing self-esteem and personal autonomy moving forward.
